Yesterday morning, I was summoned to the far end of the upper field, to view the lush results of planting deer grass.
Whether this was the intended end product, I’ve no idea since I did not read the packet.
But the flowers are quite lovely.
And bees love clover.
Now WP has changed the gallery format. Oh well!
Bees like the invasive honeysuckle too.
Back at my desk, I was accosted by Sam. A very bouncy spider.
And by Muffin, in need of lap time and perhaps early lunch?
Until recently I was seriously creeped out by spiders. I never wanted them killed, just removed. By someone else.
Now-a-days, it’s only the fat, long-legged or very hairy ones I run from.
Finding Sam on my hand was fine but as he bounced off, I was afraid he would get himself squashed.
Spiders are apparently attracted to cat litter boxes and I often come within moments of flattening one. Then I have to get Grant to rescue it as my fingers are too clumsy for delicate operations.
At such times I try to imagine what it must be like at spider-level and whether they get scared.
But they do not think as we do.
The currently un-used hummingbird feeder is outside the kitchen window. When I see a bug flopping about in the nectar I always go to fish it out as it would seem wrong to let it drown.
Quite possibly the it’s bug that stings me the next day, but that’s OK.
Ignoring the sky yesterday afternoon, Grant went out to tackle a flower bed.
Shortly after, we experienced a quite photogenic rainstorm.
And when it showed no sign of letting up, the man returned, muttering darkly.
Working in warm drizzle is one thing, but cold, driving rain not so nice.
And the wind got up too.
But the light was extraordinary.
Everything got a good soaking.
“I’s not a thing!”
Indeed not, sweetie!
And nor is Peanut. She was wet too when she came by after supper.
There was a second fox with her but that one is very timid and it rushed off.
In typical fashion, once Grant had given up gardening, the sun came back out.
Then the real picture show began.
Pondering the idea of writing about the “creation” of a trigger, I decided that there may be value in it and I am not averse to “sharing” it.
I am just not sure how I would go about publishing it, however.
In my early blog I wrote elements of the story which I believe was helpful to me.
After many long years of therapy, something had suddenly shifted in my mind and I could go back and look at events in a detached way.
There were details I left out, thinking them unnecessary, but I have come to realise that many of the smallest things can influence us.
I am able to follow a quirk back in time now and pinpoint where it originated.
What triggered me the other day was *perceiving that my feelings were once again being dismissed, put down, that I myself was being treated as second class, unimportant.
Whereas I used to accept that I must indeed be so, I now know that I do not deserve to be dismissed, ignored or treated as unimportant.
(*The perception was just that. The comment was not directed at me personally.)
I am entitled to my opinions but do not expect everyone to agree with them.
It is important, I think, to be aware of people’s sensitivities. Many people have “no go” areas and I do my best to respect them. I, myself have none.
By all means disagree with me. But do not treat me as mentally defective because you couldn’t be bothered to consider my point of view.
So, the story will be written but I must do it thoughtfully. What I shall do with it then remains to be seen. I don’t really want to have a second blog but maybe that’s where it should go?