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For every recent photograph I’ve taken of a cat, there are a hundred in my archive and 90% deserve to be deleted but I can seldom bring myself to make the key strokes, as if to do so would be to say goodbye forever.
It’s my biggest emotional weakness.
A story came to mind in the early hours of this morning, which sent me scrolling through that enormous archive of long ago friends, for images I recalled, but had previously been unable to locate.
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Few things tear my heartstrings quite the way a romp through those old memories does.
Never mind that some of them actually hang on my walls. Panther’s eyes seem to follow me around. I carry the tiniest bit of his ashes in a glass bead that I wear around my neck.
Silly? Sentimental?
He meant a lot to me.
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On that same chain, I carry a gold penguin which was a gift from a very special friend.
At the time of this photograph, Panther still had ten years of life ahead. Thimphu here would very suddenly be gone two years before that.
Better to remember the happy times.
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Like catching Casper in the kibble bin.
He and his sister Alice were a pair of criminals.
Their brother Alex shy and so sweet.
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A long melancholic meander finally produced the photographs I was searching for and they are not good, being scans of substandard prints, but they are the only ones I have of the cats in question.
Why their very short story came to mind this morning, I’ve no idea, but apparently it wishes to be told…
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Simon was a thug. Gentle and loving to human beings, he battled with every cat he ever met and had the scars to prove it.
Half his right ear had been chewed off.
Grant brought him in after a particularly injurious fight.
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At that time, I’d not yet bought the house where I would open a foster home and we were volunteering with the rescue that had formed as a splinter group from what had turned out to be a hoarding situation.
When we’d tried to re-home some of the cats, we’d ended up being literally locked out. There had been some 30 cats and it was sad not knowing what was to become of them.
Our rescue’s leader had an empty house and soon we had another collection of cats to worry about, including dear scruffy old Simon.
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We took care to separate the cats, ensuring that they had compatible roommates. And when we visited, each little group was allowed out to run around for a while in the downstairs living area, which is where Simon met Lady Gray.
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Lady Gray was a very elderly matron whose owner had died.
Simon being so anti-social, had been kept mostly isolated, but one day he and Lady Gray somehow came face-to-face and it was love at first sight.
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The big old bruiser and the elderly grande-dame immediately became inseparable.
Against the odds, they were adopted together.
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Their new owner was touring the country in a mobile home, so Simon and Lady Gray got to live out their days happily on the road.
Some matchings are just meant to be.
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We never knew what went wrong with Joey’s first adoption, as we always emphasized that we’d take cats back with no questions asked.
Joey was not in great shape, but we were just grateful that the couple had done the right thing by returning him. Another of our cats ended up being re-abandoned, though we got her back because she was chipped.
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Joey was a love.
He was soon re-adopted by a lovely couple and went to live with their young family and other cats…
..and dogs. The rest of his life was very happy.
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An elderly couple came by one day to meet Emily.
She was a cat who had to have the right person.
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But as they came through the door, stand-offish Cassidy jumped down from her perch and strode purposefully up to the lady.
Cassidy had been surrendered to our vet when her owner didn’t want to nurse her through cancer.
The lady turned out to be a cancer survivor too.
Cassidy had never greeted anyone before that day.
Of course, she found a new home.
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Emily came upstairs with me briefly, to see how she would get on, but said no thank you, she would wait for something better to come up.
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This was what she’d had in mind.
She’d wanted no part of cuddling with anyone else.
Some connections are meant to be.
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All those cats were special in their own ways and I could happily have kept them.
No, I would have loved to keep them.
But it isn’t right holding on to animals that can do better elsewhere.
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Whether they want something different, like Kina.
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Or need the right person, like Lea.
She found herself a star!
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Giving Oliver up for adoption broke my heart, but he deserved better than to be kept in a crowded foster home.
It was clean and he actually had plenty of room. And as much love as we could administer.
Denying him better would be wrong.
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Oliver’s person offered to take his buddy “M” and they went off together.
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But the next day we got a call to say that “M” was traumatised. He’d got himself stuck behind the washing machine and wouldn’t come out.
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We went to Bainbridge Island to fetch him back and he remained with us.
He was very attached to Grant and I was convinced staying was what he really wanted.
We couldn’t let the cats out there because of nearby roads, so Grant used to take them out on a lead, although “M” did manage to escape once, through a narrow crack in a 3rd floor window while work was in progress in “the suites.“
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He spent the day gallivanting about on the hillside before skipping happily home and maybe that was what helped convince me he didn’t want to be adopted.
Piero was a challenge because he was a crackerjack. He came in all teeth and claws after being teased.
In the absence of tormentors, he calmed down, but would we find the right person for him?
A veteran with PTSD adopted him.
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Finding good homes is hard and no matter how many questions you ask, no matter the home visits, you can never be 100% certain you’ve made a good choice.
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For me, that was the hardest part.
The reason I ended up keeping 13 cats is not because I couldn’t bear to let more go, but because so many turned out to have health or behavioral issues.
Some of my own cats might have found homes, but you don’t give up animals that have bonded with you. At least, I could not.
So I stopped accepting “rescues” and when I moved back to New York, the whole lot came with me.
Merlin was adopted by a college student.
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Merlin was so cool!
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Cats have broken my heart, messed up my homes and ruined my bank balance.
But they have given me so much in return and I shall remember them all forever.
I really enjoy your kitty cat stories, and pictures! 😻
They are all so precious, in their own unique way.
Thank you for sharing ❤️
Catherine
Someone said You can have a clean house and nice furniture, or you can have cats and dogs.
Thank you, Carolyn, for your wonderfully beautiful and moving memories of your life with cats. I love all of them but especially the story of Simon and Lady Gray. Your photography is outstanding!
Joanna
Walking with you down memory lane was heartwarming. Thank you.
Kind regards,
Gladys
To tears. Your post is very touching. It’s so hard to say goodbye to these little fluffy friends. I have a two now….
You have a big kind heart Carolyn. You are absolutely amazing! 😻💓