“Hello old woman. I see you’ve been left alone in your motor vehicle, like me.”
“So I’m going to sing for you.”
“Let me just get in tune.”
“Woe. Woe, Woe.”
“It’s called the ‘Woe song’, see.”
“Woe is me. Woe is me.”
“I’ve been left alone. Woe is me.“
“You can join in. ‘cos you ‘s bin left alone like me.”
“Oh. OK. Maybe you better not sing.”
“You see, old lady, that rude Rotty in that car over there?“
“It’s singing insulting songs about me.“
“And I won’t have it!“
“Woo, woo. Who’re you?’
“Just a silly rotten weiler.“
“Stuck in a silly wee car with two silly wee friends.“
“I’ve got a truck, all for me.“
“Yeah? Come over here and say that to my face?”
“Soppy great hound!”
As we drove away, the chorus continued. I attempted to capture an image of the Rottweiler, but my chauffeur could not hold still for that nano-second.
He thinks it’s bad to stop in the middle of parking lots.
In case you should inconvenience another driver.
Or annoy someone by taking a picture of their dog.
There is a rule about humouring old people, I know.
It’s not as if I make many demands.
This stream? I’ve been trying to get that picture for four years.
“Can’t stop! Can’t slow down!”
As you can see, he finally did, actually stop!
Exciting, isn’t it? I just have a thing for water.
But we almost always flash by in a big hurry.
When the man does slow down, or God forbid stop, it’s always:
“Quick, quick, quick!”
If I wasn’t trying to take a picture, I’d thump him.
What I need is a driver who can obey my commands.
“Clean the windshield!”
Stump Church, where I took pictures last October 20th.
It was all golden and sunny then.
Different now, but still a peaceful, harmonious place.
This time it was:
“Where shall I stop? Here? How about there?”
He was keen for me to catch comparative images.
A good place to lie for eternity.
What I also need is an all-terrain vehicle with an upholstered turret where I could sit grandly, rotating to capture the full range of views.
My camera would be fixed so as not to vibrate in my hands. It would swivel up and down.
Maybe I would have multiple cameras for different ranges of focus.
But no. I’d get confused with that.
Better keep it simple. Like me.
Of course I am teasing, about my driver.
He gets me safely where I have to go and finds new routes with regularity.
When I say, “I want a picture of that!” he does his best to find a good vantage point.
This morning was heavily overcast, but as we left Stump Church, in the distance was a curious sun break.
While I was putting this together, I went back to check the date of our previous visit to Stump Church and in the middle of that, a hiccup.
What happened, or why, I do not know.
But for a few minutes I was wailing, like my doggie friend there.
Everything had vanished. Gone. Nowhere to be found.
Certainly not any longer in my brain. Brain does not keep carbon copies.
Should I start again? One lacks enthusiasm the second time.
Somehow I brought it back from wherever it went.
And now I had better publish before it goes again….