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Twenty-five years ago today, I got lost in the Utah wilderness.
The reason I know this so precisely is because it was my father’s 88th birthday.
This was him in 1914.
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After years of supporting Best Friends Animal Society, I’d decided to visit, the year before, and fallen in love not just with the sanctuary but also with beautiful Utah State.
When I described it to my dad, he expressed an interest, so in June of 2000 I took him there for a two-week road trip.
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Despite his age, he was very fit but he was quite happy to sit in the car if I wanted to see something that involved a stiff walk.
That day, I climbed a hill and walked along the summit in search of I’ve forgotten what. I remember only that I did not find it and not wanting to leave my father alone for too long, I started back, but foolishly I had neglected to take note of a landmark.
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It hadn’t crossed my mind that I wouldn’t be able to re-trace my steps. I’d walked two straight lines! And that was a lesson on just how easy it is to become disorientated.
It was very hot and there was no shade and I had no water, but my only concern was that I’d left an 88-year old alone in a car, in the middle of nowhere. How could I be so irresponsible?
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After a while I needed to empty my bladder and I thought for sure if I squatted to pee someone would come along, but in the wilderness – nah!
Well, if I couldn’t find the car, how was I going to get out of this pickle? Scanning the land, I spotted the automatic pay booth where we’d entered the park and a car was approaching.
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The question was whether I could get to the entrance before the car passed through. I wondered afterwards how things might otherwise have played out, but luckily I staggered up just as the car rolled to a stop.
Out of breath and dripping wet, I could barely speak and the young couple I accosted must have been somewhat taken aback to see me turn up apparently out of nowhere.
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The car was full of camping equipment but I persuaded them to cram me in and without too much trouble, we located Dad who was perfectly happy, unaware that anything was amiss.
As we drew up next to the car, he turned his head with a look that suggested he didn’t wish to be disturbed!
The above photograph was taken a few days later in the La Sal Mountains, the terrain very different to where I had got lost.
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As a rule, I avoid interaction with strangers and I am not good at verbal communication, yet in desperation one manages!
A few months after the Utah holiday, my dad found himself distressed in Australia so I went to sort him out.
On a walk one warm day, he suddenly decided that he must have a taxi back to the hotel.
There was no place to sit him down and nowhere to find a taxi, but across the road I saw a man on a cell phone, so I rushed up to him and asked if he could call for one.
Which he very kindly did.
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It’s nice to be thought capable by ones parents, but mine set me a few daunting tasks, not least purchasing a house on their behalf, in a country where I was not even resident.
In retrospect, I wonder if they were counting on failure as an excuse for not going back to England, because I later learned that I was blamed for the move.
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One thing I was certainly not capable of was knowing my parent’s wishes. I don’t know if it was a generational thing, or an English thing, but it seems to me that a great deal was never said that needed to be, with resulting misunderstandings and resentments that could so easily have been avoided.
These last two photographs are of Bryce Canyon, Utah.
Thank you, Carolyn, for the interesting story of being lost, finding your way back, thoughts on not understanding your parents’ real plans, and for the spectacular photos from Utah.
Joanna
Your dad was slightly older than mine, who was born in 1920. He was a hard taskmaster, and we clashed in my teens. He left my mum for another woman when I was 24, and I didn’t see him again. I never had to take him on trips, or tolerate him in his old age. (He died at 69) And to be completely honest, I am grateful for that, as he was not a nice person.
Best wishes, Pete.
Families.
I always think that Utah looks otherworldly!
Now, let me just start by saying how amazing it is that you have a photo of your dad as a baby from 1914! And what an interesting story about your wandering/lost in the wilderness. For this exact reason Berto always says to me: “Remember, you need to look out for landmarks when you wander off” (because he knows I can also ‘get a bit lost when I’m focused on something’). Great photos of the canyon!
One thing for sure, we will never fully understand our parents or our children.