A few months, maybe a year or so ago, I came across a website called: thisiscolossal.com
It is basically dedicated to art but every day brings something of interest such as the story I am attaching about snowy owls at Boston’s Logan Airport.
They are wonderful birds and it is nice to see someone dedicated to saving them. I had not previously heard this story.
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While we were out enjoying a nice Spring day last week we came upon a hawk which flew off before I was able to focus the camera properly but I got enough of an image to puzzle over.
The dark necklace seems unusual but I think it must be a red-tail. Any thoughts?
Hawks don’t stick around to pose for wobbly old photographers.
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We had taken a rather long way home from the post office where I’d received a letter from the school containing a ballot whereby I could vote for or against their proposals.
One was their budget: $26 million.
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The other was for an expenditure of $526,000 for four new buses.
When you retire and pretty well fix your income forevermore, it changes your outlook somewhat.
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What used to cost a dollar now costs five. Where you once spoke of hundreds you now speak of thousands, thousands as millions.
So, $26 million is probably a reasonable budget for a small regional school and that fee for four buses perhaps may be a bargain, considering the cost of an automobile.
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In the past and up until our current government, I always voted for what I thought was right, even if I knew it would cost me in taxes, because that is the responsible way to live.
Regularly, I donated food to the local pantry to assist those in need, even though I find it scandalous that anyone in the wealthiest nation on earth should be so needy.
But with my own future so uncertain, I have had to adjust my way of thinking. My own needs are few currently, but one cannot predict what lies ahead.
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My responsibilities now are to the animals who depend on me. I know that many find it inappropriate to spend money on animals while people are in need, but I believe I have done my bit there and it is animals that have always been my lifeline.
Where human needs are readily met, animals and the environment are considered far less important, so they will be my only focus now.
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On Saturday night, Muffin’s behaviour indicated a possible urinary tract infection, so we administered the antibiotic that we keep for such emergencies.
Urinary tract infections untreated can turn deadly very quickly in cats.
So we were off to the vet again yesterday, even though Muffin appeared to have shaken off whatever had been ailing her.
The antibiotic is usually very effective, so was she recovering or had she not had an infection in the first place?
We had to know whether to keep treating her.
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Taking a cat to the vet is not a big deal except for two things, the first being that it really upsets the cat, the other being that when it’s a very elderly or sick cat, sometimes it turns out to be a one-way journey.
Last year we took Patches in because she was coughing. All the way there, I comforted her saying we’d go home soon, but she did not come with us.
That day has left me with a complex. We were so unprepared for it.
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Muffin is so frail, I check constantly to be sure she is still breathing.
There is not much more to her now than her purr and her fur, even though she eats well. I ask myself if being hungry all the time makes her suffer but that, I think, is a question without an answer.
We feed her on demand. She wakes at first light which is quite early these days. My own eyes open even earlier now and I lie listening for her call, fearing the day when it doesn’t come.
This is what I’ve seen referred to as pre-grieving. Anyone who has nursed a beloved animal through a final illness will be familiar with it.
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It’s not a good way to spend those final precious days since apart from anything else, you risk upsetting your animal which is likely to pick up on your emotions.
Yet I know no good way of avoiding pre-grief.
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When the awful moment comes, I tend to shut down, to function on auto-pilot, which gets me to the final moment. Thereafter, I beat myself up thinking I should have made a better job of that last farewell.
Here I am again, writing about final farewells.
Surely no-one enjoys them and maybe they stick in everyone’s memory to come back and bite from time to time.
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When there are multiple pets, you must beware of focusing too much on just one. Sometimes it’s not the one you are concerned about that leaves and then you end up feeling guilty that you hadn’t noticed or spent more time with the animal you lose.
Oh, the ways you can torture yourself!
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One thing is plentiful this year:
Dandelions.
Such a cheerful and hardy flower and much unappreciated.
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As far as I’m concerned, they are welcome t thrive and it looks as if they certainly will!
Now I’m being encouraged to go for another drive, to check out the swollen rivers…
Your blog looks different today. Have you altered the appearance of it?
I know about pre-grief. As soon as Ollie started to slow down on his walks six months before the end, I started to imagine life without him and became overwhelmingly sad and somewhat withdrawn. I could not go through that again.
Best wishes, Pete.
No. I’m not sure how it actually appears because when I post it it looks one way but when I see it in reader it’s different. I suppose the reader version is hat you see. I should do something different but I’m afraid it would involve adventures I might not enjoy…one day, perhaps!
A coincidence that I found this post? Today marks the second anniversary of my young dog’s death due to cancer. We thought about not getting another dog but the house was so empty without one. I remember wishing she would die in her sleep so we would not have to take that final trip to the vets. A comfort that I have is this, I sincerely believe I will see her again in Heaven. The Bible speaks of the whole creation groaning waiting for the earth to be renewed. One day last Fall I asked God to tell her that I loved her and missed her and do you know what happened, early the next morning about 2 am I was awake but my eyes were closed. I felt a nudge on my arm. I said to myself I guess Kassie has to go out. I looked in the direction of where the nudge came from there was nothing there. Kassie was sound asleep at the bottom of the bed! Born again Christians have the assurance of Heaven, Jesus said in order to enter the kingdom of Heaven you must be born again. I believe my dog will be with me for eternity. I have quite a few of them waiting for me. Take care
After losing my first cat I sometimes felt him walking over my feet at night when I was in bed. In some form I think they hang around. I have many I hope to see again too!
Thank you, Carolyn, for the video about the wonderful man devoted to saving owls. I understand worrying about a beloved pet not being with us any longer, and crying at the very thought of this happening. This is why I will not have any pets, ever. I do agree with you that your focus has to be on helping animals. It is a good distraction for you to be able to drive to see the beautiful world around you.
Joanna
❤️❤️
Thank you for sharing this very thoughtful post.
I am very familiar with pre grieving, as well…..and second guessing myself, afterward.
Hoping for the best for Muffin. 🙏
Catherine
The snowy owl story is very interesting – thanks for sharing it. I hope Muffin is doing well – it’s hard to see any of your pets getting older (and therefore frailer, too). But it also makes one appreciate every moment with them.