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Yet another trip to Bennington took up most of this morning with only 50% of our tasks completed.
Grant was able to get his photographs printed in the particular size he needs, but it turns out that companies like Staples are not allowed to make photocopies of government documents.
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Renewal of my British passport requires me to send in copies of my US passport and my printer is refusing to do them in colour:(
Our neighbour is very kind and no doubt can be prevailed upon, but I so hate being a nuisance!
It is unlikely I’ll ever even use the passport, but I prefer to keep it valid, partly because it represents my last link to England, I suspect.
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My last personal link, that is. My niece and her family live there and my brother keeps a flat in Lancashire, although he is only there occasionally.
My nephew and his family are in Australia and I have not seen either of my brother’s children since 1999.
My only other remaining relative is a distant, older cousin who lives on Vancouver Island.
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Although my mother had five siblings, she was the only one who had children and my father was an only child, thus we were always a small family and my father taking overseas employment separated us geographically when I was very young, so it is something I have always been used to.
Communication in those days was by means of letter, unless it was something dire which necessitated a cable or telegram. If you had access to a phone, you could book an overseas call at some expense.
Lack of communication can at the best of times lead to misunderstandings. Changes of circumstance are hard to explain or appreciate when explained that way.
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Additionally, placing one’s children in the care of relatives can be awkward.
My mother, I know, did not want to but she had very little choice if she wished to remain with my dad.
My brother being older stayed at boarding school in England, spending holidays with relatives and rarely travelling out to Asia.
This arrangement changed forever the family dynamic. Since 1956 the most time I have ever spent with my brother has been a matter of a few weeks and after he married, far less than that.
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For the remainder of her life, our mother felt guilty at having left Peter in England.
At the same age, I too was sent to boarding school but initially, not back in England. By the time I returned there, I had become a stranger. My family understandably regarded me as the spoiled child. I was very conscious of this and it made me terribly uncomfortable and tongue-tied which no doubt made matters worse.
Coming and going to school, friends and relatives were obliged to accommodate and transport me which is where that feeling of being a nuisance originated.
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Once, when I was about 12, my mother accused me of being jealous of my brother. I really don’t think it was true and the words really stung. I suspect the accusation came more from her own feelings about treating her children differently, but it affected me forever after.
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Peter and I have always been good friends, as much as is possible over great distances, considering he was a hopeless correspondent, but we have had such different lives.
Recently, since Peter’s partner has been hospitalised in England and he has been fighting illness alone in Cyprus, we have emailed regularly, catching up in our dotage.
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After his last health check, Peter was given the news that further treatment was not necessary and he is finally clear to travel back to England where he has a few arrangements to make.
With family in Australia and a home in South Africa, he will need to visit those places too but I suspect he will wait until after their winter, which unlike me, he does not favour.
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In the meantime, if the health checks remain good, he plans to come to the States to visit me.
This is where being old is a nuisance! Years ago, I would have flown to England to see my brother, maybe even gone to help him in Cyprus, but although I manage perfectly well at home, out of my own environment I become overwhelmed because of eyesight issues and balance problems.
So, I have suggested Peter fly to Boston which is a three hour drive from Cambridge. If I can find a suitable place for us to rest for a few days, we’ll do that and then he says he’s game for enduring the shambles I live in!
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It’s been some 8 years since we saw each other.
It will be bittersweet, as I so hate goodbyes and when you are old, you have to be realistic.
But that’s life isn’t it?
Thank you, Carolyn, for your fascinating childhood memories. It is wonderful news that your brother is well and can travel and meet your charges. I love the blue sky and the silhouettes of trees against it. As you said, that’s life, and it looks as it will time of happy days soon!
Joanna
I hope you have cleared this visit with the cats!
Family!
I have no siblings, and have never really regretted that. I have some very close first cousins that only live a couple of hours from me, but I don’t see them in the flesh that often. Since being married to Julie, I have a large, extended step-family who I see more frequently. I hope your brother makes it over to see you.
I am glad you are hanging on to your British Passport. Given what is going on in America, and is sure to get worse, you may end up being grateful for it.
Best wishes, Pete.