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One of the albums I created for the Fall pictures, I entitled “baring trees”, – trees that are becoming bare.
For me they are a class of their own.
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These were taken on a variety of drives, so I can’t identify all the locations.
But I think it matters not.
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Many trees gave up the game weeks ago while others are in varying stages.
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This is a tree I know you’ve seen before as it often models for me in different seasons.
It’s at the end of our road.
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Our neighbour’s house is just down the hill from us.
You’ve seen pictures of his fabulous flowers.
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Same red-leaved tree from the reverse angle.
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This was a week ago, when I went out to the old wall for a look beyond. Today the colour has changed dramatically.
We’ll get to that…
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The sky didn’t look anything like this today.
Mostly because it was pitch black when we went out.
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When making a tonsillectomy follow-up appointment, I thought I’d do a sensible thing and program two Clifton Park appointments for one morning.
Not something I would normally do where doctors are concerned, but my knees reliably only require an hour and we wouldn’t mind a short wait at the other place, 10 minutes down the road.
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So much for trying to be responsible.
A text came from ENT, saying “sorry, your appointment must be changed to a different day.”
My knees were stuck with an earlier than necessary time.
Not a problem, except that driving in the dark is not the best idea here because of wildlife. Especially when it’s foggy.
We did in fact see two deer as we started out.
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The ENT clinic seems to prefer communicating by text, which suits me fine but it can lead to confusion.
A few days after re-scheduling my appointment, I got a further text advising me that my December appointment would be with a different practitioner.
I have no ENT plans in December.
No doubt they texted the wrong patient and I considered calling to alert them of this, but I was fairly sure a conversation would go nowhere. I have experience, you see.
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It being merely a change of one PA for another, I decided it wasn’t all that important and I’ll mention it next week at my re-scheduled event.
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Communication ought to be so simple in this day and age but experience tells me that we were so much better off when it was done on the old-style telephone.
My regular clinic had me scratching my head in frustration until I figured out that calls don’t actually go to them but to another location, only they don’t volunteer this information until you have had a complete cross-purposes conversation and they sound annoyed.
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My brother is having fairly serious surgery on Friday, in Cyprus. Not wanting to make a pest of myself, I asked if my niece, who is in England, could send me an update.
Turns out she will be “in the sticks”, so my nephew was offered as the the news-giver. He is in Australia.
Communication is sparse from that end so I emailed him.
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The reply, that he will send on the information, when it is given to him, did not fill me with confidence.
Hopefully, my niece will return quickly from wherever the sticks are. She plans to go to Cyprus when my brother is discharged, but as there is no telling when that may be, it is a little complicated.
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Complications have always seemed to be a particular forte in my minute family.
Problem-solving not a great talent.
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To anyone who has a normal family it must seem extraordinary not to have immediate contact in the event of serious health issues.
This is far from the first such occasion.
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My brother’s sudden alarming diagnosis brought up a series of very confused emotions, not least sadness.
Peter and I were basically separated when we were children, with the result that our lives went in completely different directions.
We have seen each other so rarely since 1956 and it is impossible to be emotionally close to someone so detached, but it doesn’t mean you don’t care.
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My mother felt great guilt about leaving Peter in boarding school when we went to SE Asia and I always felt regarded as the spoiled child.
It didn’t change how I felt about my brother, but it inserted an invisible gap that I didn’t know how to bridge.
Peter married very young and became very close with his in-laws who were the family he had not had. They were his priority, as they should have been.
But I never got to know them at all well because when I had time, it was taken up by other people.
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Following my sister-in-law’s death in 1999, Peter met someone else and they were very happy, but in 2020 everything began to go wrong.
Their globe-trotting was not an option for that extended period but when it resumed, travelling as a couple was soon curtailed by a diagnosis of Alzheimer’s.
With homes in three parts of the world, children and grandchildren in different hemispheres, life became very difficult.
And now Peter is seriously ill in Cyprus.
If I could go, I would, but it is not possible. Hence my very confused feelings.
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The past few days have seen a significant drop in the temperature, with frost expected imminently, so the return from Clifton Park in daylight, afforded us a view of great changes in the scenery.
In the meantime I didn’t want to not post some of the earlier pictures…
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This post allows me to delete the “baring trees” file!
Which isn’t to say there won’t be more.
“Families”
I had a similar dilemma when my sister was very ill, and subsequently died, in South Africa 10 years ago. Should I go there? What could I achieve if I did? Was I trying to assuage my conscience? Did it change my love and feelings for my big sister either way? In the end I didn’t travel but marked her funeral in my own special and private way – and thus started my blog!
You understand completely, Peter. My brother’s favourite home is in South Africa but circumstances have mostly kept him from it. He is the first to admit that his lifestyle has contributed to great complications but I feel so sad for him.
🤗😻💛
C Smith, I’m sorry to hear your brother is seriously ill and I know how it is dealing with international long distance family too. There is always an unspoken connection with family even when you don’t see each other for many years. I hope he will recover well enough that you will once again be able to meet up somewhere. 🙏 Susan
Thank you Susan, xx
It’s a hard decision. Back in 2011, I was called back to Australia because my mother was terminally ill. She lasted another year so although we lived in different states, I visited her throughout her last year.
It’s so hard when you live on different continents. Hope you’re OK and sending you hugs, Carolyn.
I love the photo of your neighbour’s house – you’ve framed it perfectly.
Thanks so much.
We also try never to drive in the dark – because there are so many stray animals along the road (and potholes that are hard to see). I never thought ‘baring’ trees could be so beautiful – you’ve now given me a very different perspective on this, thanks Carolyn. I pray for the best possible outcome for your brother’s surgery. It must be hard to be so far away and although you don’t have much of an emotional bond, he’s still family.
Thank you.
Not having siblings, I will never have that problem to deal with. But I have experienced it with sick (and dying friends) who now live too far away (by my estimation anyway) to go and visit. We make decisions in life to move to certain places, and that splits up both families, and friendships.
Such is life. (Unless you are a millionaire with access to a chauffeur and a private jet.)
Best wishes, Pete.