Searching for a letter I'd laid carefully aside Led me into boxes best left undisturbed. Inside so many pictures Of friends long since interred. Pictures of the pets I loved And held close to my heart. Their faces hang in frames. From the rest why can't I part?
It’s not the weather that’s made me blue. Coming across old photos makes me nostalgic and I know I should dispose of them, but in throwing them out I would feel I was letting go of the last vestiges of the pets that made me happy in a life that was not over-filled with happiness.
It’s all a muddle of separation anxiety and depressive personality.
Probably something I could discuss with my therapist.
But I’ve yet to be re-assigned.
People are always “getting back to me.”
But they never do.
So then all the negative thoughts start their parade around my brain, in their little storm trooper hobnailed boots.
But I know better than to let them stomp.
Done with all that.
The old pictures can stay. When the time comes it will be just a few more boxes to go in the dumpster. Why tear my heart out?
What’s actually got me down is the surfeit of bad news that always seems to arrive at this time of year.
It’s not that I am a Christmas sort of person. To me December is just another month. But other people still seem to hold this time sacred which makes bad news extra poignant.
As there is not one thing I can do to help any of the people affected by all this bad news, what is the point in allowing it to get me down?
Sympathetic noises, words in an email. What good are they?
There is no point in my being sad, but when you care about someone, how do you not feel their pain?
In the old days, I would have started to wallow. I would start looking beyond the personal bad news, taking aboard all the horrible news from around the planet.
Then I would add in all the pain of every animal hard done by the human species.
And soon my pit of grief was bottomless.
Those days are gone. I’ve come a long way, but I remember the feeling, so I can still share another person’s pain.
What I must remember is not to suffer from it.
"Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional"
(Old Buddhist adage.)