Demerits from Dee Dee

3rd January 2023

“What sort of time do you call this?”

“Lunch was due to be served 90 minutes ago!”

Starving we are!”

“Weak from hunger!”

“And anxious over what may have happened to you.”

(Oh, very anxious!)

“So disappointed in you.”

“A New Year and this is how you start?”

“As chief shop steward I am registering a grievance.”

“Where were you, anyway?”

“Take it up with the Man, Dee Dee! It’s all his fault!”

He dragged me from the house on so foul a day!

The Man had a mission. It was time for a haircut.

It has been three years and I’ll allow that there may have been room for improvement, but I’ve been quite happy snipping and shaving bits here and there.

Who cares what my hair looks like? Waste of money, I protested.

Now, his hair gets seriously bad because he makes no attempt to tame it.

“It’s too wild!” he says and shoves it under a hat.

Anyway, the Man decided it was time to shape up and as long as he was going, so must I.

Alright, alright. I sat in the car muttering.

“Not necessary. Dragged out in this foul weather, bullying old women, etc etc.”

I had been persuaded to make appointments online which I did on my old iPad and the response had been a bit vague. So when we got there, only one appointment had registered.

“All yours!” I declared, gleefully.

But as there was no-one else around…

If I was going to get it cut I figured it may as well be short because it grows so fast.

So we got almost matching haircuts.

I could hear my mother’s reproachful wail: “You look like a boy!” Just as well she cannot see me now!

On a Rock-hopper Penguin, it’s a good look.

On a super-annuated human face, not so much.

“But it will grow out evenly and with shape.”

Perhaps.

Well I won’t have to waste time straightening it.

Any when soon.

“And” I thought, “at least I won’t have to fend Toby off, since I have no hair he can seize hold of”.

No such luck. He cannot get enough of the new do.

It’s as if my head is a new sort of cat-scratcher.

The sort they shred.

As I pointed out, the Man has the same new arrangement on his head.

Wouldn’t Toby like to share his attentions around?

“No, no. I like your bed better. Not so much competition.”

That’s true, although Patches arrives at a similarly early hour to groom my face. This morning I had not yet managed to discourage the boy, so Patches arrived splat in the middle of our struggle and there was nearly a cat fight in my face.

Shut them out?

One does not shut cats out.

And Toby is old and frail. I will not be able to live with the eventual pain if I don’t give him everything he wants, whether it’s sitting on my keyboard or knoshing on my head.

Though I must find a tactful way of dealing with the latter.

“Tee hee hee! I love watching this show!”

“Don’t forget my nuts!”

7 thoughts on “Demerits from Dee Dee

  1. Thank you, Carolyn, for tonight’s entertainment! Let me tell you, that judging by your old pictures, you are beautiful, and no doubt, Grant and the cats tell you this daily.
    I love the fog pictures! Thank you for reading and liking my posts!
    For the way you treat cats, Toby, in particular, I expect you to be taken later, much later to haven by angels!

    Joanna

  2. One good thing about losing most of my hair is that I can clip it off myself, and have done so for over 20 years now. I cut it yesterday for the first time in a month, but the difference is hardly noticeable.
    Best wishes, Pete.

  3. I can’t remember right now … Dee Dee likes Grant more than you, is that correct? So, do you think the ‘shop steward’ will call Grant in to issue a warning to HIM? Well, with all that ‘bullying’ into the car, you got really pretty pictures πŸ˜‰. I also went to the hairdresser today to get my hair cut before we fly back to East London … and guess what my mom said when I got home? “You look like a boy” … πŸ˜…

    1. Ha ha, that’s funny what your mom said! Dee Dee is Grant’s cat or I should say he is her person. She gets very jealous of other cats getting lap time from him. She is a real character.

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