No Crusade

25th July 2021

Forgoing lunch yesterday having not posted for two days, I persevered with what I was writing, deleted half of it and cobbled together a post about Willow.

After all, she’s “my child”. I can always find something to say about her.

And she is photogenic.

So there it was, after a long struggle, ready for Preview.

At which point it vanished.

Gonzo. Gone.

No idea why. Sometimes I delete a paragraph by accident, but I know how that happens and I can recover from it if I choose.

Not this post. The Universe was telling me “NO!”

So I abandoned posting for another day.

It is the end of July. As previously mentioned, this is not my best time of year.

Perhaps I’ll come good in September.

We’ve got the smoke again and oppressive heat which is a bad combination. Outside the bugs seem frenzied.

Another good reason to not spend time in the garden.

Though I probably would, with protective head gear and clouds of bug spray. I can even tolerate heat, to a point. But since my last foray into the outdoors, I haven’t been able to sit for any length of time. The sacroiliitis flared up and laid me flat.

There is still possibility of another treatment pending, but I’m getting very bored with medical appointments.

A pain specialist decades ago advised me not to “make a crusade” out of searching for a solution. It annoyed me slightly, as at the time I was still in my fifties. I wanted to ask if he suffered from chronic pain himself. But I didn’t ask.

So my PCP prescribed oxycodone and for the next decade and a half, that was that.

Till the “oxy crisis” which put me back to square one.

In my mind, I keep hearing Dr Jacobsen’s voice:

“Don’t make it a crusade.”

Twenty years later, I’ve concluded it was sound advice.

After the next couple of appointments, I think it may be time to call it quits.

4 thoughts on “No Crusade

  1. That post of yours that disappeared … made me think of how I struggled today to put my last post up. It was like one step forward and 3 steps back 😬 … my husband (probably speaking before thinking) said he thinks WordPress knows when I have PMS. Hmm, fortunately I was in no mood to argue 😉.
    When (if?) you call it quits, I really hope your good days will be more than your bad ones 💐.

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