A funny thing about side-effects

It seems to me that there is a grey area in the human digestive tract, a sort of no man’s land, too high up for gastroenterology and too low down for ear/nose/throat.

Of course, that appears to be precisely where my problem lies.

It is not a serious problem. It is not life-threatening, or I would have been gone long ago. It is simply annoying and recently began affecting my voice, making me sound as if infected by a particularly nasty cold. Additionally, swallowing had become uncomfortable so, reluctantly, I consulted my doctor which ended with me seeing the aforementioned specialists.

Gastroenterology advised that my stomach is inflamed which I already knew. I should double the dose of antacid “plus H2 blocker” (Famotidine)

ENT told me my vocal chords are swollen, adding a proton pump inhibitor (Omeprazole).

Diagnosis: laryngopharyngeal reflux, aka “silent reflux”.

These and similar medications have never helped me in the past, but doctor knows best!

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A couple of days went by after which the only change was that I began to itch.

Over that weekend I developed a rash of tiny blisters and only because I was afraid it might be contagious, I saw my doctor who believed it must be a reaction to Omeprazole.

This was something of a surprise since I’d taken it before without such a problem, but nothing else ever changes in our household, or in my diet and a few days after I stopped taking the medication, the rash cleared up. Still, I wasn’t convinced. My doctor said to wait ten days before resuming the med.

This I did and there seemed to be no affect…

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Until last Friday, when I sensed a tickle behind one shoulder. It felt somehow familiar…

Curses! I abandoned the Omeprazole again.

This time, the wretched rash became more extensive, covering my upper body. Luckily I had not depleted the various salves and powder I used for the first outbreak, but on Monday it was showing no sign of clearing up and Grant was urging me to see the doctor again, however…

As part of the ongoing saga of the generator, Grant had asked Jeff, our very efficient and nice plumber, to stop by and we were expecting him on Wednesday, so I was a little surprised to see his van pull up on Monday afternoon.

“Do I have to apologise for being two days early?” he asked.

He’s a lovely man who was looking after this house long before we came here, so he knows where everything is, except, it turns out, where the gas pipes are. Another small hiccup.

Jeff’s stepson who works with him is a naturopath, so Grant asked whether he had anything for itchy rashes and the lad went immediately out to find – a plantain. I should crush the leaves and rub it into the affected area, but he actually prepares a salve with it, which includes oil and eucalyptus. He went off and fetched me a tin.

The rash is not entirely gone, but the itching has been much less ever since first application.

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The obvious cause is the Omeprazole, but I am puzzled why the flare did not occur sooner, so I am still not convinced, but I can’t really think of anything else.

Perhaps I’m allergic to peacocks?

Impossible.

Is there a single drug that does not have side-effects? I was told that I could only take Omeprazole short term in any case because it can aggravate osteoporosis, but it would be “good for diagnostic purposes.” I should probably have rejected it on the spot, but I have the feeling that old people are expected to be cooperative and I never was any good at challenging a medical opinion.

This same specialist tells me that my hearing has deteriorated to a level that makes me eligible for hearing aids. The only thing I can’t hear and only because I have tinnitus, is those infinitesimal beeps on their perishing audiometer. Actually, I think I did hear them, but they were so faint, I hesitated to raise my hand. In future I will.

Perhaps I should cancel the follow-up visit since it all seems a waste of time. Does it matter if I’m hoarse? The cats don’t appear to notice and it’s not as if I do public speaking. God forbid!

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Funny thing about side-effects, though. I have reacted badly to many medications and I know to look out for side-effects, but I never thought to question my thyroid medication. I had most of my thyroid removed over 50 years ago and what remains is basically useless, so the medication is not optional. Without it, everything would eventually go wrong. The prescription gets adjusted up and down periodically, as necessary and there has never been any other discussion about it, but last week, since I was looking up side-effects, I decided to check it out.

And there was a list of everything that has plagued me, inexplicably, for most of my life.

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