A sunlight hill across the valley, visible through the dark screen of my trees.
A metaphor for my feelings about the current state of affairs.
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It’s not hard to read meaning into all sorts of images, I suppose.
Darkness and light are the images that most often strike me, the two extremes.
The Alpha and Omega that seems to rule everything.
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Not for a single micro-second do I presume to have any of the answers, nor do I expect others to live according to what I judge suitable for myself, anymore than I wish to live like anyone else. I do however believe myself capable of knowing what is just and what is not. Quite often in my naive, idealistic youth, I voted for amendments that I felt would benefit the majority even though they might not suit me personally, because that was what I thought responsible people ought to do.
It took many years for me to overcome that misguided notion. Currently, if there was any way I could manage it, I would withhold my taxes which I bitterly resent paying to a government that is corrupt, incompetent and inhumane.
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How does a responsible citizen effectively protest a government that re-writes law to suit itself, defying the Constitution which is supposed to protect us all.
At least that is one thing they are honest about. They do not pretend to care in the very least for any of “us”.
“Us” being anyone who does not kneel to the party in power. I have always been a so-called independent, but I shall never again vote for a republican, assuming anyone has a chance to vote at all, of course, so I am definitely one of who those people call “them”.
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Why does it have to be us and them?
Why can it not be all of us together, collectively?
Apartness is utterly mad. Basically, though we may look different and sound different, worshiping alternate gods, or none at all, deep down our needs are exactly the same, but it is the human condition to distrust anyone who is not like oneself.
To an extent no doubt, this is a matter of self-preservation, an instinct, something evolved people ought to have overcome. Would perhaps have overcome, but for power-hungry opportunists who benefit from launching people against one another, which is apparently incredibly easy to accomplish.
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Fact of the matter is, humans are aggressive creatures. Even those who are not innately aggressive can be provoked and there are plenty of natural bullies to do it.
Bullies like the thugs in our government who are spoiling for a fight.
The consensus seems to be that it has been festering for a very long time and maybe it is best for it all to come out, though where will that take us? Nowhere good, I’m afraid.
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What I feel is impotent, unable to change a single thing, certainly not for the country, but not even for myself. It’s the same feeling I had for the first 13 years that I lived here, when I could not escape from my uncle, my “guardian”. Every twisted conversation I hear from the White House reminds me of my attempts to reason with that man, to make him understand what he would not accept.
You hear people ask why it is that abused women do not escape from their abusers. I was not physically abused, only mentally tormented and I did break away briefly, which not only did not end my problems, but made them worse.
Even after my aunt and uncle moved many hundreds of miles away, that man had a hold over my mind that really only ended with his death. I hated what he did to me and to my aunt, but I could not hate him. He was emotionally damaged by his mother who doubtless became what she was as a result of her own early life troubles.
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Memories of those days were going around in my head recently and it suddenly occurred to me that the person I ought to blame was Adolph Hitler since, if he hadn’t provoked that war, my uncle wouldn’t have been in England to meet my aunt who would therefore not have come to the USA…
Then again, one could blame timing, or the fickle finger of fate. If my aunt hadn’t got on that particular bus with the dog she wasn’t supposed to have, the man wouldn’t have been able to make a fuss of it.
Things just happen. It’s up to us how we handle them.
But boy is it ever hard figuring it out sometimes.
I like this post, and your courage in writing it, though of course I do NOT like the current affairs in this country at all. I am aligned with your way of thinking, despite having been fortunate never to cross paths with someone like your uncle. The natural world and animals are the only way to survive this, I think. The impotence we feel as individuals could otherwise drive us mad.
Thank you, Carolyn, for the ability to turn a serious topic into an amusing one! To go back to your reasoning to blame Hitler made me laugh! But I agree with Emma McCarthy’s writing:
“In nature, I find solace and serenity, a sanctuary where I can reconnect with my inner self.”
Joanna
Bullies who abuse others physically and emotionally are nothing but cowards … that’s it, I have nothing good to say about them. And I try not to think too much about our government – I always get to the same conclusion: Politicians are only there to enrich themselves, not to create a better future for their citizens.
Brilliant post. You name the experience so many are having at this moment. It is easy to imagine what people should have done “back then”. Not ay all easy to know what to do now. I think there is a reason “trauma” is on the dot use list. Retraumatization is the experience of the day.
The effect of such abuse never goes away. It might have dormant periods, but can easily be brought back to mind by small things, or huge events like the political changes in the US. You have a peaceful place to live, and the company of your cats and wild animals to soothe your soul. That is a lot to be grateful for, and to reflect upon during dark times.
Best wishes, Pete.
I think that all right-thinking people feel impotent at the moment, no matter where in the world they are. It seems that only those who take extreme views or actions can influence change. The normal everyday folk have little chance of having their voices heard! A sad reflection of politiics and social cohesion.
politics!!!!