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It was my intention to start writing last night but I thought first I should email my brother before another day went by. He has just begun six months of chemotherapy, alone in Cyprus.
The least I can do is keep in touch.
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For most of his life Peter was a hopeless correspondent. When he was young it was because he hated writing, then later he was occupied bringing up his family and he had a busy career.
On retirement my brother took up travelling, maintaining 3 homes in order to stay ahead of winter weather, but Covid knocked a hole in that.
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It was then that Peter’s partner was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. She can no longer travel and has had to be placed in a facility where she can be cared for. I believe it is a very good place but – it’s in Yorkshire.
Peter had to return to Cyprus which is where his doctor is and some weeks ago, he was diagnosed with cancer, yet he does not complain.
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In moments when I feel fit, I tell myself I should go to Cyprus. Apart from seeing my brother, there is a lot of appeal to the idea, but such a journey would wreck me physically and then I would only be a burden.
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Rushing to the rescue can be extremely counter-productive. This I learned from bitter experience.
Some situations simply have to play themselves out and certain kinds of pain, physical and emotional, have to be dealt with. No one ever said life would be or should be easy.
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The best thing to do is be realistic. accept the facts and deal with them head on. Not easy, but more effective in the long run.
Having sent the email, I remembered a couple of Christmas cards that needed to go overseas, so I did those. There was a time when postal services were reliable. Now in many places they are non-existent, but one must make the attempt.
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Most of my friends are fond of animals, so in lieu of a letter, I wrote a few words about Little Man and his adventures.
Finally, it was too late to start blog writing, so I fell into bed with my book but something made me glance at my phone and I discovered a What’s App message from someone I’d not heard from in many months.
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Quickly I sent off a reply and was surprised to get an immediate response. “You’re up late!” I thought, given that he was in England.
But he no longer is. He came home three months ago, via Zurich in order to carry his cat in the cabin.
Mostly, I think, he returned because his mother was ill. On landing, he called to say that he’d arrived but by the time he reached home she was gone.
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My friend has returned from many years abroad and must now start all over again, no longer young and disabled from a stroke.
Sometimes it seems as if life is one long tragedy.
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Even as a child, I couldn’t bear for people to be sad. I wanted to fix their unhappiness but of course you really can’t.
Usually all you can be is a friend.
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Now, because I didn’t start last night, I am out of time as I have one of those annoying midday appointments, so I must rush…
Life can be cruel at times, often leaving us feeling helpless. You are right in saying that all you can be is a friend!
I wanted to ask you earlier how your brother is doing – I will keep him in my prayers and wish him well. It’s true, life is not always as we hoped it would be (far from easy if you ask me), but I believe that my life here on earth is anyway only temporary and that there is an eternal (and much better) life waiting for me after death with God. In the meantime, as you say, we can only be that friend that our friends and loved ones can count on. Sending you a big hug from South Africa 🌺.
Bless you ❤️
‘I wanted to fix their unhappiness but of course you really can’t. Usually all you can be is a friend.’
That is so true, and should be a life lesson for everyone. I hope your brother’s treatment is successful.
Best wishes, Pete.
Umm…..