The demon App

4th February 2021

What a difference a clear blue sky can make.

Sadly, today we’re back to the grey variety, with periodic, varying types of precipitation.

Grant keeps popping up to see if the gas delivery has come yet. I offered him my phone in case he feels like calling.

He seems to think perhaps I was not forceful enough in my request. He always tells me that.

But I do not plan to spend another half hour listening to how excited the agents will be to assist me. He’s welcome to have a go!

Perhaps he’s feeling a little guilty because early yesterday, I suggested he might have a look outside to check the snow situation in case the gas man came. Instead, he went off to the Post Office muttering “not in charge of roads”, which is certainly true, however…when the gas truck made an effort to get up our hill and kept sliding back down, suddenly my friend became interested, contacting the neighbour above us whose job the road actually is. And it got sorted, but by then the gas man was gone. So.

As for calling anyone, I may not be able to do so anytime soon as a demon force seems to have occupied my iPhone.

Searching, as ever, for a reliable weather oracle, my helpful friend told me to try the “Weather Home” App.

Perhaps if you pay the right “premium” to the right party, you don’t get barraged on your phone with adverts, but I am too cheap or too stubborn to do so.

As a result, recently I was presented daily with unneeded information about Viagra and having ignored that successfully for a fortnight, my phone then wanted to know, “Do you know how to clear your bowels daily?” Really?

The new weather demon removed those items, providing instead hourly updates on the latest foibles of Harry Duke of Sussex.

Considering the intensely sad demise of their mother, I have always had a soft spot for those two lads, Harry in particular.

Who could forget that devastating funeral or the courage of those two young boys?

So it isn’t that I don’t care about the Royal Family.

What I fervently wish is that they would be left alone.

To do whatever they do in private.

However, according to the demon phone, Harry was now yesterday’s news.

Instead I’m getting constant warnings about “another Nor’easter”…that is beside the snow dump we are currently experiencing.

Additionally, it warns that someone else is using my Chrome profile (it’s probably me on my pc)…but when I swipe the screen to get details….what comes up….

Megan Markle and HM having a snit about Archie’s birth certificate. Oh for God’s sake!

Does anyone else my age have issues with their IPhone?

Am I really so hopeless? When computers first arrived in the workplace, I was actually very good at figuring them out. Well the front end, at least.

We used to have to remember codes in order to get what we needed in the way of boarding cards, loadsheets, tickets.

Then they decided to create an interface which would be more user friendly. That’s when I went off the rails.

Many of us bitterly resisted using the interface, until it wasn’t an option anymore.

Maybe I needed to get my brain re-programmed to a different form of information processing.

It seems to me that the old, coded way, was consistent. If you put the wrong code in, you got a reject response.

Now you have hundreds of choices to make and no clue whether or not you made the wrong one, or where. You just keep hitting buttons and hoping.

Sometimes, with a little patience (smile), I can still get the better of these devices.

Nibbling on my piece of toast (lunch) just now, I had a thought: “turn off the battery saver”

Which didn’t help.

But then I hit a button that offered “App info”. One of those accidental things that arrive on screen somehow. I’m sure I couldn’t find it again.

And I killed it! Killed the demon Weather Home.

And just like that, the sun came back out!

Now I’m having a dark chuckle because Grant just spent a half hour listening to the recording on the gas company’s phone line, which he subjected me to, the swine! He just went off to consult them at the depot….

2 thoughts on “The demon App

  1. He called me to say there was no 0ne there. It’s just a depot. So returned to making phone calls and finally got someone on Facebook or I don’t know what. Gas supposed to be here…any time now…..sunsets soon….I’m still chuckling.

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