The above photograph was taken using my new Celero 5G phone.
Never heard of it? Neither has anyone else, it seems.
It arrived on Sunday and I spent most of Monday contemplating it, reluctant to take the plunge.
When I did, the stumbling block I came upon was not one I would have guessed might be a problem.
But then I’m not sure my old phone actually had a sim card, or if it did it must have been built in, because I never had occasion to handle it.
Having removed the new device from it’s wrapper and plugged it in, I had managed to install the sim card with the help of a nice bloke on YouTube. Did exactly as he demonstrated.
Then I thought I would get it over with and began the process of activating the shiny new contraption.
There were no instructions from the phone company, or from the manufacturer (in China, of course), but after dabbing gently at the screen I managed to find an “Activate Now” button.
Following the on-screen prompts, I got as far as transferring some of the info from my old relic, although for some reason it elected not to let go of any of my “favourites”.
Well, I didn’t expect 100% success after all.
Then the new phone announced:
“Connection not available!”
Rubbish. Of course it was available. There was an option to ask for on-screen help, so OK…..
Half an hour of chats back and forth produced the news that I had been sent the wrong sim card. Fantastic.
That involved getting in touch with a different department, of course.
At which point I called it quits for the day. It should be a short, simple conversation, right?
“Just send me the right sim. Ta very much.”
It was as well I had decided to sleep on it.
Having related my request to a very nice, polite young lady, I received all the pat answers they are taught to say about the company’s gratitude for my patronage, “do not worry ‘mam“, “it will be taken care of”, “service will be established,” blah, blah, blah. Blah blah.
Why don’t they eliminate all the bullshit and just deal with the problem? Such a time waster.
We got through all that and then I was asked “where did you purchase this phone?” The “Chat chap” had asked “where did you get this phone”.
“Em, from your company, on line.” (Beginning to feel defensive!)
When did I buy it?
5 days ago?
“Check my account, it’s all on there!”
English was not this young lady’s first language and the marbles in her mouth did not help. It sounded like first day nerves. I wasn’t being fierce. Promise.
Additionally she asked me to perform functions on the phone that were decidedly foreign to me, besides which having no instruction book, I was challenged to even begin looking for what was needed.
“Chat man” had asked for a screenshot of the sim. Just how was I to accomplish that without losing him? I thought his “never mind!” was a little snide.
Now, experts had to be consulted with much being put on hold and getting back to me. No further mention of wrong sim cards.
Though after a prolonged period, I was asked to remove the wretched sim. At which point Grant had arrived and was offering advice in my other ear.
You know, I expect, how helpful that was.
But he took hold of the new device and using the tiny tool I proffered, he got the sim out and re-inserted it.
Now, whether he re-inserted it the same way YouTube man had demonstrated, I can’t say and I’m not taking it out to check.
Which led to the problem that I was speaking to the nice lady on my old phone, the only one I have. But in order to attempt activating the new device, I was going to have to hang up, breaking my connection which was a scary thought.
So I seized Grant’s phone and appropriated its use.
Then having established contact on his phone, I disconnected my ancient relic for the last time and with a bit of back-and-forth with the technicians, we achieved lift off. So to speak.
Grant kept whispering, anxiously “ask her if I’m going to have the same trouble when I get my new phone!”
But I could tell there would be absolutely no point in posing the question as what had become clear during all of this was that the Celero 5G is a brand new product that, I get the feeling, was not yet supposed to have been launched.
And looking online, I saw that they now have an offer (more expensive I might add) to “pre-order” the Celero “while supplies last.”
Judging from the conversations I had, by text and by phone, I have the impression my phone company let the cat out of the bag a little sooner than was intended.
Perhaps. Perhaps not. I don’t really care. The “thing” works and I unexpectedly got my monthly fee reduced by $5. So, no complaints.
When we were done with this fiasco, Grant asked “do you want to go to Schenectady?” It was a gorgeous Fall day, so why not.
Schenectady was one of those names I remember from the dial of my father’s old wireless, back in the 50’s. I don’t suppose I ever expected to actually go there, nearly 70 years into the future.
Bratislava, I think was another. I’ve never been there.
Dad spent a lot of time fiddling with that dial.